GHETTOLOGY

OK lets dive into this Ghettology study..... I know your probably thinking what in the world is Ghettology...... Well let me break it down for you.... Ghettology is something I made up, it's not an official scientific study, however it's based on real facts, truths, and beliefs of the inner-city population.... Ghettology is the study of the mentality of the inhabitants of the ghetto.... OK, let me break it down a little further.... Ghetto- (noun) A part of a city, esp. a slum area, occupied by a minority group or groups.... WOW right, I bet you never knew that and if you did you probably have asked this question, Why is 75% of the the 11% population of blacks in America in prison?.... Well if you haven't asked that question then you probably have asked this one, Why does the suburban area of a city look so plush, peaceful, and polite, and the inner-city look so violent, vile, and vain? Well why?.... Look at your government, how come they won't tell you why? Or how come preachers aren't preaching this, how come it's not in schools? Speaking of schools, why does the schools in suburban communities have state of the art technology and cutting edge teaching while the inner-city or the public schools have 3rd class books and technology from the 80's?.... All of these things made me wonder why I wasn't doing what I thought should be done.... So i took my experience of being a product of the ghetto, history, culture, music, and my family tree to study and reveal this mentality, not just for black America but to spark minds to do the same all over the globe.... I believe we have too many intelligent people talking about hip-hop, when hip-hop is the outwardly signs to a inwardly problem, in other words why would a doctor from Harvard give botox treatments to a Aids patient.... So stay tuned for this 4pt. series it's going to be a bumpy ride.... The first part is going to be called " THE GREED OF THE BEAST "....... BE HEARD!!!!

BEATING THE ODDS

Thank God for another year, I am so blessed to be alive. Yes I turned 23 oct.6th..... If that doesnt mean anything to you let me tell you why I'm so excited.... The statistics say that I should be dead, in jail, dead beat dad with multiple women, selling drugs, not a high school grad, not a college grad or attendent, all by the age of 21 and thats just to name a few..... I'm still alive, I'm not in jail, I'm not anyones biological father, however I help with my nieces, I'm not selling drugs, I graduated from high school in 2003, I graduated from ITT TECH in 2005, I'm graduating from the International College Of Broadcasting in Nov...... Thank God for that, however I not stopping there I wanna teach others how they can beat those same odds too, it's hard work but it starts with a dream and begins with God, you will get weary and there will be storms, you will be challenged and tried, BUT IT'S WORTH EVERY BIT OF THE STRUGGLE!!!..... Stay tuned for my next blog, I want to discuss the new scientific study called "Ghettology" or "Ghet-tology"...... This is the study of the ghetto mentality specifically for African Americans but not subject to any one race but for all who go through this way of life..... It's going to be a wild ride...... I'm gonna deal with a whole spectrum of things..... I mean why not? This is why blogging was designed.

WHERE IS MY FATHER? (GRAND FINALE!!!)

YES!!! THE GRAND FINALE!!! WOW, OK... Lets recap, first I wanna thank everyone that read and kept up with the blog post. OK.... I have dealt with the cycle of not having a father at all for both boys and girls, I've dealt with the cycle of the father being there but not in the home, and I have dealt with the father being in the home but being a ghost to his children... Now I want to bring all of these things into perspective... How are you going to do that? well... I'll show... If you haven't read WHERE IS MY FATHER?, which is my first post, then please read that and everything leading up to this post, it may take awhile but I'm here waiting for you so take your time:)....All right for those of you all caught up I'll will start.... I'm not the type of person that doesn't give credit when credit is do, so I have to give credit to God for using my spiritual father for this one... It's a simple but very profound formula FATHER + MOTHER + CHILD= WHOLE FAMILY this is the basic family equation (and I'm not saying you have to have kids to equal a family, just follow me) This is basic addition, now I wonder what a little subtraction would look like, lets see... (FATHER - MOTHER) + CHILD= BROKEN FAMILY how simple is that... Now the question becomes how do we fix the family, well if we subtracted to get the results of broken family then we have to add what we subtracted to get back to the whole family.... Now, in case your lost let me explain furthermore... Mother, Father and Child, they all have their different functions in the family. They all have different places in the family, would you agree on this?.... Now if you agree then watch closely to my next statements... When you take the father out of the picture you now have a blank space in the family and it shifts all other spaces.... Remove the father and now the mother has to step in the fathers role as provider, protector and director..... The child has to step in the mothers place which would explain why this generation think they're running the house..... Now you have a different equation it looks like this -FATHER + -MOTHER + -CHILDREN = DISGRACED FAMILY... How is this you ask, well... We know now that the father out of place causes the rest of the family to be out of place, this explains the negative integers on each of the family members... So the equation is saying.... A FATHER OUT OF PLACE CAUSES THE MOTHER AND THE CHILD TO BE DISPLACED WHICH CAUSES THE FAMILY TO BE DISGRACED..... WOW I'll let you think on that one..................Thought taken, now what can we do?
1) The real men have to step up and claim this generation as a son and daughter
2) We have to start teaching young men how to deal with big responsibilities and mistakes they may make in this life
3) We have to raise up men that will be fathers for children that may not be theirs
4) Every religion in America should strive to bring families back in order and in functioning condition
5) Every organization that will agree, needs to have a arm of funding and mentoring for single mothers in every city...
Thats my top 5 solutions to this plaguing issue of fatherlessness.... We may never have families like the Cosby's but we can restore good family values and make God first and family second..... AGAIN THANKS FOR READING AND STAY TUNED FOR MY NEXT POSTS.... Also check out my poetry vault at the bottom of my full profile..... OH and remember to.... BE HEARD

Daddy's Home

OK, so far I've dealt with what happens when the father is non-existent in the life of a young man... I've dealt with the father being non-existent in a young womans life.... And I've dealt with the father being there but not in the home... OK, now I wanna deal with the issue of the father being there and being in the home, however he is still a ghost... WOW right... How is this possible? I bet you thought if the father was there then everything was good, well... That should be the case but we still have fathers in the home thats disconnected from their children in relationship.... The picture of the post is a very, very, very, special picture to me.... The picture is of me and my Grandmother... My grandmother is the only connection I have to my family history and what maybe issues that effect the world... Her father was a WW2 soldier, she said he was a very smart man... She said her father was a mechanical genius, he even built his own truck from the ground up... My grandmother said she loved her father.... However there was one thing, on the weekends he would take the families living money and waste it on alcohol and his girlfriend, he would leave on Friday and not return until Sunday night still reaking and hung over... When he would return, if questioned by his wife he would beat her up... My grandmother said the beatings of her mother was a usual thing... WOW... Now she said her father was a sweet man he just had issues, issues like everybody else.... Maybe your story isn't that dramatic, maybe your father is a workaholic, or maybe your father wishes you were another sibling... In either case the father is still in the home, however he is just like a ghost when it comes to relationship.... My grandmother told me sometimes she wishes she never had met her dad because then she wouldn't have those memories... It's something to have your father right there in the home but very few memories of him taking you to the park, or the mall, or fishing, even hugs and kisses... It's a very sad thing when someone says they hated to say "Daddy's Home".... What about you? Whats your experience and thoughts?....BE HEARD!!! And keep checking for the finale of this issue WHERE IS MY FATHER? It's going to be incredible!!!

I Would Have Been A Daddy's Girl pt.2

OK... I want to keep a good flow going so, I know I didn't deal with some of the other factors in my other post and since I think they are important, my next two post will be on this subject.... I kinda dealt with what happens when the father is non-existant, now I want to deal with the factor of the father being there but not in the home.... First things first, the photo of the post is a very significant one... The picture is of me and my 2 sisters and my niece....Second, if you as a child lived in a single parent religious based home, it's some things that you have never had to go through like if you lived in a non-religious based home.... You have to understand that I grew up in the projects, my mother was on drugs, alot of times we didn't have food in the house, my mother had men running in and out all the time... I have two sisters that lived with me and only one of my sisters has the same dad as me... Both of our dads were there, however they were not in the home... So I'm speaking for that demographic of women because I have come to recognized that this issue plauges their everyday life... Now you may be in the same boat as they are so I'm going to write in a general manner just remember some things may not apply to you... Now I remember when I couldn't have a good relationship with my dad because him and my mom had issues between one another... Now this issue hurt my sisters the most because they had to deal with my mom calling are fathers derogatory names like " He's a low down dirty dog".... Well to a super sponge child already going through emotional disposition, these statements effect the way they view the imagery of a man.... So now you have kids that think their father is a bad man, and if their father is a bad man who is a good man?... When we got older I guess my mom and dad kinda worked out the issues and our relationship started... Now for me it was easy to say, hey forget the past this is my dad and I want to love him.... But for my sisters it wasn't that easy, you see they wanted to know why did he treat my mom like that and was he a bad guy.... I could be wrong but I would have say that they never got those questions answered because they never reached out for the relationship... Now they act and react to men based upon unanswered questions... However they managed to keep some what of a relationship with their dads but when issues arise instead of handling conflict like mature adults they turn into little 6yr. old girls again afraid to talk and unsure of being correct in the way they feel... WOW read this again and catch the flow of what I'm saying here I'll give you some time...................... OK you should be caught up, isn't that crazy.... Now one of my sisters have kids now and guess what? The saga continues.... I talked to my sisters the other day concerning these things and they love their fathers very much but now their relationship has taken another turn (CHECK OUT THE FIRST BLOG POST).... Look everyone this is not just a personal story this is the story of millions of women across America go check the statistics.... How many women out there has this issue or a similar one....BE HEARD!!!

I would've been a daddy's girl

I want to thank every one for stopping by and reading my blogs. I know alot of you out there are just visiting and I appreciate that, however I still need to know you were here. So you can leave an anonymous post just saying if you liked the blog or not, or you can vote and check out my profile (to the left of the page), either one of those will be just fine, again THANKS for stopping by..... OK, now I would like to keep a good flow going so I thought I would pertain to the female readers on this one.... I guess your wondering why is that picture being displayed?.... For those of you that don't know who's in that picture let me tell you.... That is "THE GREATEST" Muhammad Ali and his undefeated world boxing champion daughter Laila Ali.... I wanted to keep a flow going with this WHERE IS MY FATHER? issue and I dealt with the father & son side, now I want to deal with the father and daughter relationship.... I recently read an interview Laila Ali had with news week and she had this to say about her father,

"A lot of people are held back in life. They are worried about what other people think. But my dad, who's now 65, inspired me to have confidence and do whatever it is that makes me happy. That's the greatest thing one could have: self-love. I didn't grow up saying I wanted to be like my dad. But I can't help it: in a lot of ways I'm a lot like my father, Muhammad Ali."

WOW!!! .... Now, being a young man from the inner city ghetto, having two sisters and living a single parent household, that statement or anything close to it is unheard of.... I have watched my sisters grow up, in a society of women that have the mind set of " I would've been a daddy's girl".... Why do I say this you ask?... Well let me explain.... A boy needs a man to validate his man hood and I know you heard otherwise but a girl needs a man to validate her woman hood as well... A father gives his daughter confidence and security in herself, he also gives her a image of what to except and not except from other men... And when you take the father out of the picture you get a very different kind of woman, with no confidence, no self-love or self respect. This theory is not true for every case, but from what I've seen this is very true for the majority... And the very sad thing is, if she had a real father, she would be a daddy's girl.... But thats not the killer, the killer is these type of women usually grow up to be very reliant on men. Not good men, but boys that see fit to exploit unsure, unfathered women because they are missing their fathers... And this starts a whole cycle of bad choices and it leads to a road of constant depression, baby daddy drama and welfare lines... Now, while there are other factors I did not cover, I have a question for the women out there.... (1) How important is a father image in a womans life?..... (2) Do you think a girl can grow into a fully mature woman without a father?.... And (3) what kind of problems can a girl have with no father image in her life?.... BE HEARD!!!

Where is my father?

I recently had a chance to meet my spiritual fathers real father for the first time (it was my spiritual fathers first time meeting him as well), and he said the first question that came to his head was, "36yrs. what took so long"? I was proud of my spiritual father because he didn't punch his dad in the face for him owing thousands of dollars of unpaid child support, lol... You see, while I'm making jokes there is a real serious not funny issue going on in our nation. This is a picture of my little brother and my biological father, and if you look real close into the picture you probably can tell that they're in a prison... And check this out my little brother is 13 in this picture and he met our dad when he was 9... OK, did everyone catch what just happened? If not let me show you again.... Now, my spiritual father is 36yrs. old and he just met his father for the first time a couple of days ago..... My biological father is in prison and has been for the past 7yrs....... And my little brother which is 13 now met my real dad when he was 9yrs. old.... And I didn't tell you this in the beginning but, my biological father met his dad for the first time 4yrs. ago.... Now, do you see the trend? And this is only my case... were not even talking about the millions of homes in America and abroad that are missing the father image.... Later I may deal with the reason why my biological father is in prison but this time I want to start off on a more positive note..... You have heard me make this statement for about 2 maybe 3 paragraphs now about my SPIRITUAL FATHER and my BIOLOGICAL FATHER.... Well my spiritual father came in my life and said NO! You Destry won't have to go through life fatherless like I did! Now, my question to you bloggers out there is... (1) What is it going to take for men to step up to the plate and father this generation of children who has never met their real, biological father? And.... (2) How many of you have fathers you just met, in prison or you never met at all? And last but not least... (3) Do you think this missing father issue is even a real issue, should we just get over it? BE HEARD!!!